As if we don’t have enough to do, this is the week we have to be thankful, too!
Frankly, I think going from 0-60 on that one is just too much to ask.
Still, we probably should make some effort, be it mumbling grace over our Turkey Day feast or doing a mental check-off on our gratitude for having a job, supportive family, whatever.
Me, I’m going for more active engagement in an arena everyone seems to think is passive – listening. To be a good listener you really have to work at it, and generally speaking, who has the time?
But Thanksgiving Day is the perfect opportunity – lots of down time after the bellies are full. And the candidates most in need of this gift are pretty obvious. They’re the ones who are willing to forgo watching the football game in order to talk to you. You know who I mean; yeah, them.
Don’t assume I’m going into this like some kind of Pollyanna. Believe me, I know there will be considerable sacrifice involved. I come from a big family of hunters who think the watching-paint-dry process of awaiting the arrival of prey while sitting motionless in a tree stand is titillating. Then there’s the tracking process (somewhat more interesting, but usually painfully detailed), and of course the gutting process, followed by the dragging-it-in-from-the-field process (also tediously detailed and usually overwrought in the telling).
Nonetheless, I was inspired by Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside, who recently told the New York Times that no matter how dysfunctional your family, gratitude-via-listening can still work.
“Do one small and unobtrusive thoughtful or generous thing for each member of your family on Thanksgiving,” she advises. “Say thank you for every thoughtful or kind gesture. Express your admiration for someone’s skills or talents — wielding that kitchen knife so masterfully, for example. And truly listen, even when your grandfather is boring you again with the same World War II story.”
I’m ready, Sonja! Not only will I listen, but I will ask questions! Because despite the work involved, I really am grateful for the loquacious hunters in my family. Happy Thanksgiving!
